Grief – The Anniversary of September 11th
I re-call starting the morning of September 11, 2001 by attending a special yoga class. Hundreds of students came to practice Ashtanga yoga with the guru of the practice who had just arrived from India for the special event. I re-call how we moved as one to the rhythm of victorious breath. Soon into the practice, my two beaded bracelets suddenly broke and scattered their many crystal beads all over the streaming colors of yoga mats lined up row upon row across the stark studio floor. These two bracelets had been a part of my body for at least two years prior. I slept with them, showered with them and regularly practiced daily yoga with them. The sudden simultaneous rupture of both bands was a foreshadowing of the later morning events that would shake up and take a vicious bite of the apple of my beloved city. Crystals have long been known to absorb negative energy so it was no surprise that the bracelets unraveled and dispersed due to the energy of terror lurking in the air.
When class was over, I walked home to my west village apartment and was overtaken by a sense of serenity and calm that is likened to what one feels directly before a storm. As I stood in front of my building contemplating whether to get a morning coffee or not I gazed at the sky to notice fresh smoke emanating from one of the Twin Towers. As an empath, I immediately felt a wave of grief sweep over me as I thought of all the people who were inside that building on those burning floors. I knew that they were in deep trouble and were dying or about to die. Some people around me were speculating as to what had happened and one onlooker said they saw a plane crash into it.
As the events of the morning went on and news spread as to the terror attacks hitting the homeland. I witnessed first hand both buildings implode. Giant nuclear mushroom like clouds of cement, sheetrock, computers, plastic, flesh and bone. This was a scene straight out of Armageddon.
Witnessing the buildings I had grown up collapse and taking with them the lives of what we would later discover were 2,763 souls was more loss than I was able to handle. The elegant twins were part of my upbringing. My father was very proud to have been a core part of the construction team and we often toured them. To have them removed from the geographical landscape in one swipe was a re-write of not only my history but of the entire city’s.
Grief over the day’s events shook the city, the nation and the world for days and years. The collective grief of innocence lost still rattles us as we continue to live with the reverberation of consequences that day brought with it. It is natural to mourn and grieve after any loss. Loss is a part of life and like any other emotion it is meant to move through us. There is a distinction however between natural loss that occurs with old age or disease as opposed to the loss that results from things out of our control such as a traumatic event, a freak accident, suicide or as a result of substance abuse.
When loss is unexpected and tied to a trauma, grief can often remain stuck in our energy field. The weight and presence of unprocessed grief begins to spread to our physical and emotional body and may manifest as depression or other kind of mood disorder and or physical illness.
The anniversary of this day brings back a rush of memories for all of us. Our collective grief helps us to connect with each other’s humanity while also serving to soften our hearts to one another. This is the grace that comes from grief. It is a blessed reminder to Never Forget.
#AlwaysRemember & #NeverForget #September11th #trauma
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